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Happy Halloween?

All Saints Day. Halloween. It makes no difference, we are talking about dead people. The saints, not the football team from New Orleans, Lousiana, but the hallowed people of the Catholic Church., who were lucky enough to be acting in a holy and often heroic manner when the right people were watching. Oh did I mention, being a member of the Catholic Church is mandatory? I don't believe anyone in the waiting room making out an application for membership, who was whipped, raped or burned at the stake for their faith while waiting for their membership card, ever became a saint.

Halloween, it is said, might have been invented by a candy company, but I think that is just nasty gossip started by Hallmark, who was angry because no one got into the habit of sending their friends Halloween cards.

It was actually created and popularized by Goodwill Industries. They were seeking new markets for the boatloads of donated old clothing, they can't get rid of through their stores. Alas, their efforts spawned a competitive business. It's the costume in a bag product, from third world countries whose employees haven't a clue what anyone would do with the costumes they make.

If someone comes to your door for a trick or a treat wearing an old pair of men's pants with suspenders, a tattered white dress shirt, a beat-up fedora and sticks with a checkered handkerchief tied onto the end, they are costumed as a hobo. They are dressed to invoke pity and compassion for young millennials with legal degrees and huge school loan debt, whose parents have thrown their adult children out of their homes. Two mini candy bar rule should be dropped for these kids. And for God sake, let them help themselves. They did not turn the American dream into a nightmare.

Speaking of a nightmare, Our quarterback broke his collarbone.

We went from a period of above normal temperatures back to seasonal temperatures. That is accompanied by a serious change in outdoor activities. The transition from golf to raking leaves is not only difficult because it requires a different muscle set, but one is fun, and the other is work.

Fall is a season of shifting winds. What is difficult about leave raking is that inevitably you have to rake the same leaves more than once. You get them in one place in a pile and the wind shifts and blows them into your neighbor's yard. It's only fair that you have a moment of selfish pleasure, as you contemplate that the leaves are now his problem. That lasts until the wind shifts again and blows your leaves and his back onto your lawn.

What makes leaf harvesting even a more depressing as opposed to golf, aside from the physical effort, (See Above)? There are a couple of things to consider. Golf can be fun. Leaf harvesting will never be fun, except for kids who like to dive into the piles and play. They are far too young to be told that someday they are going to have to rake them into piles for their kids. In fact, you should wait until after the discussion about procreation before this disappointment is passed on.

The other difference is that you can, theoretically, get better at golf. Ignore the taunts of your regular playing partners, you can improve.  You can never get better at leaf harvesting. Yes, leaf blowers are physically easier to operate than a 48-inch wide sweep rake, but it's still leaf harvesting. What it's not is a 12-foot putt snaking across green grass and falling in the hole.


From the multicolored fall landscape that surrounds Camp Jeff, this is Poppa Jeff wishing you well.

PS: Did I mention our Quarterback broke his collarbone?



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