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The Battle of Wounded Knee

The Battle of Wounded Knee
How you take a shower when you're required to wear an immobilization brace.
by Jeff Jordan

 An Immobilization brace is a device that prevents any torquing or bending of a knee. In my case, it is necessary to protect my knee while healing from surgery for my torn tendon.

I was home from the hospital just one day when my surgical site began oozing a combination of gooey stuff and blood. It fouled my suture bandage to the point I needed to have it changed. I needed a nurse or wound specialist to change it. We went to the ER at Thedacare in Appleton. They cleaned, rebandaged the wound and gave me a new brace.

This brace, when compared to the one I was given at my doctor's office, is much more effective, comfortable and safe. Its rigidity is accomplished with three metal strips. One strip is underneath the brace, keeping the leg straight. the other two, are on the sides of the brace guarding against twisting. The other element is the foam padding which is far more comfortable and easier to adjust since any part of it accepts the velcro straps. I can sleep with the brace on. I can elevate and ice my knee.

The challenge comes when I shower. Obviously, I have to remove the brace to shower. One of my most perilous activities is getting into my shower. We have the shower with almost no edge to step over and there is a bench I can sit on. Getting into the stall is relatively easy. I simply pivot from a chair into the bench. However, I still have to take off the brace, my shorts or slacks, and my stockings once I'm in the shower stall.

After the shower, shampoo, and shave, I am wet, so I have to towel off, slip on underwear, pants, stockings and the brace. Then I have to stand up and pivot out of the shower stall into a chair so I can finish dressing. The problem with this last move is the floor of the shower is wet not only with water but residual soap. How do I perform this move? As Elmer Fudd would say, " Varwee, Varwee Carefuuwee."

I sponge up some of the wetness with the bath towel and having socks on is really a plus since it gives me some traction. Once I pivot into the chair I'm safe. All I have to do is put on my Arizona brace, my shoes, slather on deodorant, brush my teeth, squeeze in some eyedrops, don my shirt and take my meds. Then it's off to my desk to write my blog.

From the sun-drenched shore of the swollen rivers of Northeastern Wisconsin, this is the Poppa Jeff,  reminding you that slipping on your skivvies is an act of naked carelessness.

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