Things I Value

Things I Value,
And Some I Don't
By Jeff Jordan

Some friends and I were discussing the operation of a food kitchen; their church runs for the needy. The question came up about older men not wanting to participate. The discussion quickly came down to two points of view. I tended to agree with the opinion that older men looked at a meal in places such as a church, as embarrassing admission of their state in life. The other thought was that possibly older men were taking advantage of the program and those that didn't were not living in the area where the meals were distributed. 

It really doesn't make any difference how that discussion finished because we really don't know the answer to the question. But it did get me thinking about how so much has changed in my lifetime. No, I won't try and shock the younger generation about the cost of gas, bread, and cigarette cost "when I was a boy." It's been done already and doesn't make a lot of sense.

No, I'm talking about other things. I've often heard from my peers that they had problems with their parents. One parent is ill. It could be a debilitating, crippling condition that puts them in bed or a wheelchair, or it may be a mental state such as dementia. The other, more capable spouse refuses to put the ailing mate in care because "They married for better or worse and in sickness and health...." All too often, the disabled mate watches the able mate die taking care of them. The mental and physical demands presented to the able mate are beyond their ability to deliver, but they persist.

Men, mostly but not exclusively, continue to drive automobiles when they are not capable of it. For many, it's a necessity because they have no options except isolation. They live in a community that makes it necessary to drive to even maintain life. Forget socializing; they can't get to the grocery store, doctor's office, or voting booth without an automobile. Part of the problem, and I do think this is more of an "entitled white men problem," is the "my car is who I am, and without one I'm nothing," syndrome. My generation has so identified with the automobile culture, it can't see beyond it. Recently, in an apparent attempt at a left-handed compliment, I heard on a TV program that the man being discussed partially hid his wealth by driving a rather ordinary car. Can you imagine a one-percenter driving an older model American vehicle when he could afford anything he wanted? I believe the intent of the comment was to evoke that type of response. It was as if the person being discussed was offending us by not owning a car of sufficient value and cache so we could realize how much he was worth. The opposite is also true. I remember the criticism that black people that owned a Cadillac, the rich man's car in the 50" s, were somehow trying to fool us into thinking they deserved it.

Now numerous distinctions defy both age and gender. I will confess to those who do not know me that I'm an alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in over thirty-five years. I gave up smoking forty years ago. I will defend my right to drink coffee with milk and sugar until the boat sinks.

Any way you want it. I got the way to make it.

This is a scene from the second-floor apartment in Menasha, WI.

It is not photoshopped except for a bit of cropping.

Other obscenities I practice which people have eagerly been pointed out to me.

I butter my bread before I put the peanut butter on it. No jelly or jam, please. I try to live Christian values, but I don't go to church. I hold doors for men and women when it's appropriate. I'm trying CBD oils, but I'm almost positive it's not making a damn bit of difference for my health.

What's on TV

I've seen so many family sitcoms that are I'm sure they are recycling the same scripts with different characters. Therefore, I'm boycotting sitcoms, and I ask you to join me. Frankly, I never loved Raymond until they discontinued the show, and he worked in other series. He was particularly good in "Men of a Certain Age" with Andre Braugher and Scott Bakula.

There are exceptions to my boycott, including "Modern Family." I like this series because of the snappy dialogue and the actors that can deliver it. I'm hooked on "Grace and Frankie." When you're my age, you appreciate seeing people on screen that "look like you." I would include "Blackish" but it would only because Rainbow is so hot. Actually, it's pretty well written.

I believe that popcorn is the best vegetable for you to eat. I know it's not green, and it's not particularly tasty unless it popped with coconut oil and seasoned with salt, but...I like it! 

What puzzles me about popcorn is the mystery of its origin. Who the hell ever thought of popping corn, and why? But then, who was the person that looked at a lobster and thought, "You know they would taste pretty good if you boiled them in water and served them with a little drawn butter and a squeeze of lemon juice."

Shameless self-promotion.

My second column was published on UrbanMilwaukee.com

https://urbanmilwaukee.com/2020/02/13/theater-mct-premieres-play-by-wisconsin-writer/

More to come.