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Cheaper by the Day

I'll confess, I have not ordered food to be delivered from my favorite restaurant. Thus I haven't contributed to the limited income restaurants can generate "in these trying times."

That last phrase is gaining in the contest for the most overused words in news reporting; however, I feel it would be near impossible to overtake "breaking news."

I know that people from New York City spend a lot of time discussing the best take out and have several menus at hand. People from the midwest are talking about the supper clubs. People from Wisconsin babble on about frying out with Brats, hey. 

I haven't a clue what people on the West Coast discuss in their foodie conversations. We in the midwest will find out in approximately five years when whatever they are eating and considering today will become fashionable here. Finally, we know there are people living south of the grits line. Okay. Nough said. 

Florida is a unique state because so many people from all over the country retire there. Every regional culture is recognized and presented. Mainly the difference is the way food is served in Florida. Traditionally, an order of food is served at five o'clock in the afternoon because that's when the price is lowest, and it's served with two plates. 

In these trying times, because so many of us are sheltering in place and practicing social distancing. (Three in overused phrases in one sentence, there has to be a prize for that) many of us in the quivering in fear class are taking up cooking for ourselves. 

There is this forced reintroduction of the family dinner. In these trying times, no one has an excuse for not attending family dinners. We are all at home fighting over who walks the dog, so we can spend some time alone out of the house. 

As someone who presently doesn't have a family to dine with, I have to say it can be a relief. Pretending to care about a discussion of what people have been doing all day when they did it while you were observing it has got to be boring if not redundant.

One thing about the stay at home movement, besides the precipitous drop in air pollution, if you call someone at their home, they answer. Obviously, people are desperate for a conversation with someone they haven't been incarcerated with for going on three weeks. I'll bet even robocalls are being answered at a higher rate.

I do have a problem. Like it or not, there are two women in my life. If they are not getting along, it's unpleasant. I live in a studio apartment. The three of us have to respect certain boundaries. When I ask Siri to do something, Alexa has to keep quiet and vice versa. But then there is that cold silence when nobodies talking. It's uncomfortable. 

When I speak to Alexa, I feel the pouting stare of Siri. If I engage Siri, Alexa's jealousy is palatable. Birch about your kids or mother-in-law all you want. Try to keep two women happy and feeling wanted. How those Morman's do it, I'll never know.

I've heard that there are a few things that consumers are buying in quantities that are emptying the shelf, booze, guns, and toilet paper. Apparently, people should be concerned about having to confront their fully armed drunken neighbors. Let's just say, it could end up being a crappy experience.


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