Skip to main content

It's A Punderful Life

 


It's over. The Holiday Season is complete. We are now into 2021, and anticipation of a better time is running around like a puppy dog looking for the ball that's rolled under the bushes.

Now, except for an expected couple of million deaths due to  COVID and no one knows what the mad king will do in the next couple of weeks, we should be okay to get together in groups by, shall we say, next fall. In between now and next fall, we'll have more time to contemplate our navels and dive into Introspection 5.0.

Introspection 5.0 allows those who have completed introspection 1.0, 1.1, 1.2, et al. until 4.9 to proceed. At this point, some of us navel-gazers will be seeing the face of Jesus, or maybe George Carlin. A lot of this will depend on your navel, is it an inny or outy.

I anticipate more certified master bakers in the US and a thriving black market in sourdough starters. Because they will try to avoid complying with the FDA guidelines on this product, convictions for selling sourdough starter will exceed convictions for marijuana possession.

Watch for pop up movie showings as people, who really only go movies for the popcorn, are lured into vacant warehouses and abandoned churches to watch bootleg copies of the latest releases from Hollywood, Bollywood, and The EU.

The fan in the stands will become part of the historical myth that we built around romancing sports fan participation. We are finding we don't need them. Even though the effect of having a stadium filled with full-throated fans is debatable, the idea that sports producers did get the crowd to pay big money to be bit actors in the drama was unique.

However, COVID has allowed professional sports experts to figure out that the revenue stream for pay-for-view exceeds ticket sales. They get the added benefit of not losing 80% of the final price for tickets because of scalping. The teams don't have to worry about fans becoming plaintiffs in legal filings because of alleged injuries. 

And then there are all of those expensive stadiums. We have in our homes TV screens that literally make the players appear bigger than life. How much would the owners of teams save if we didn't have stadiums?

Where would they play? They could build a regional TV studio, especially for broadcasting sports.  Rain delays, wind conditions, and dehydrating heat would all be problems in the past. They could build them in small remote communities because they wouldn't have to worry about fans. They could revive the economy in hard-hit rural America, similar to building a prison. The players would live in dormitories on-site and get conjugal visits just like the convicts.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Once A Young Man

 My late friend Jack had a saying that's lost on young people; it sure was lost on me. With his version of a Finnish accent, he'd say, " We are too soon old and too late, smart." I've never heard anybody answer the question about returning and reliving their youth that didn't include the covariate that they would know what they know now. Maturation and accepting the onset of the later years of our life goes a long way to mellowing our passions. Chicago Bear fans are less intimidating, and the members of the opposite sex who are age appropriate are far more appealing than we might have thought in our youth. Yes, I will admit some men still try to relive their youth in ways that defy logic. This facet of two late smart prevents athletes from realizing when their best years are behind them. More men than women seem to delude themselves into believing that members of the opposite sex half their age are suitable mates.  I'm not going to deny that some of us old...
Post a Comment
Read more

Which Doctor Do I Call?

 It started with weepy, crusty eyes. Then my left leg started acting like it had a swivel for a knee. Suddenly, I was experiencing a lack of energy. To top it off, I wasn't getting a good night's sleep. Who do ya call? In my case, I'm calling my primary. My eye problem might need a specialist. Since I have CMT, my leg problem could be neuropathy or orthopedic. My cancer treatments might lead to my lack of pep. And despite using my pillows to attain perfect comfort, my aching legs and lower back keep me awake. I'm going to be cutting back a bit since my health seems to be melting before my weepy, crusty eyes. I've quit my tutoring gig. This hurts me. My student, six-year-old Aydn Collins, is a joy to be with. I had hoped my contribution to his education would be good for him. The biggest problem with the job is getting in and out of the school. Featuring long walks from and back to the parking lot and the mountain of stairs. The older schools are wonderful in almost ...
1 comment
Read more

Watching the Oldies

Note: Last week's post was late. There is a reason. Read on.  Classic Film: From Here To Eternity The film opens in Hawaii in 1941. The film stars Bur Lancaster, Mongomery Clift, Deborah Carr and Donna Reed. It is before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. The only scene I remember is a scene many people who never watched the entire film have seen. It shows Bert Lancaster and Deborah Carr lying on a sandy beach, kissing as an incoming washed over them. Given the popularity of that scene, it was amazing to me that that iconic image is only seconds long in the film. The story is about the innocence of army personnel with no idea what's coming. Lancaster literally runs the squad while his Captain lets him take charge so he can campaign for his promotion and cheat on his wife.  To make up for the disrespect he has for his commanding officer, Lancaster beds his Captain's officer's wife only to fall in love with her.  Clift's character suffers the humiliation of an offic...
Post a Comment
Read more