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Reconnection

There is the planned reconnection.

'Let's check in with each other on (fill in the date). If we're not married to anyone, maybe we should think about getting together.'

Many of us went to our class reunion. It frightened me that many of my classmates had not changed at all, especially the high school sweethearts that married and are still married.

But a spontaneous reconnection is always informative and for some reason more satisfying. It can be joyous. It can be sad.

My joyful reunion came when I noticed a familiar name on Facebook. Char Van Astin commented on something I posted. I liked her site and back and forth went the comments, likes, etc. I called, left a voicemail.

I met Bob Van Astin when we both worked at the company that required you to call on Monday to find out what the name of the company was. (Xpedex when they downsized me.)  Bob returned my call. We agreed to meet so we could catch up.

Many of you might remember Spirit Halloween Stores. After Bob left Xxpedex, one of his ventures was securing and promoting this franchise. It was very much a family business since all of his kids worked in the store from a young age.

It is a seasonal business. We usually set up the stores in the last week in September and closed them a day or two after Halloween. The experience is one month of putting together the store, one month of securing and training staff, and two weeks of chaos. The short version of the story of this journey is that Bob hired me to manage his one of his stores for the next four years.

I worked for him in Appleton, Madison, and Milwaukee.I learned more than I ever contributed. Later when I worked in Swartz's bookstore, the total experience of retail came to me from my manager. He said that if you're going to make retail a career, do not pursue a degree in business. You are better prepared if you work for a degree in Child Behavior and Parenting. While I hired many a great person, I must say some of them some of them were at least puzzling if not an enigma. And then, there were the customers.

One of my fondest memories of that experience is learning about alternate lifestyles. We became the clothing store for transgender people, cross-dressers and the goth community. When you wait on these people, you have to come away with an altered view of them as a group and as individuals.

Some say the popularity of Halloween comes from the opportunity to assume an alter personality. If so, and I think this represents a solid majority of the "Halloween is my favorite Holiday" crowd, what are we to make of people who want to be vampires, killers, and sluts. Worse yet some people want to be all three. To be good in Halloween retail you have to be very open minded.

The goth kids, in particular, are sometimes disturbing to look at in their predominate black attire and makeup. But when I got to know some them, I found them to be gentle, thoughtful people with a desire to be left alone. Now, I know it's counterproductive when you dress to be seen, but in theory, that was the goal. Once I understood them better, I was able to accept their lifestyle as legitimate and not as scary as I think they intended.

My wife has said, and I agree, to become a full-fledged adult you should work in retail, and work in a job where you are the primary person caring for a young child or a senior citizen. (There's no difference when you think about it.)

In my life, I've waited table, worked in retail and was a guide in a museum. Trust me if you haven't done similar things in your life you've have missed a large leg on the journey through life.

The other experience is the missed reconnection. I was sad to learn today that an old friend and mentor passed away.

Elsa Ankel was a retired Science teacher from the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee, a leader in the Cambridge Woods Neighborhood Association, Co-founder of the Urban Ecology Center and a friend and mentor to this guy when I first became involved in the politics of the upper Eastside of Milwaukee.

She could be a gentle soul or the last thing you wanted to see at the podium if you were in opposition. We didn't always agree. I found that I always had a better understanding of my beliefs when we were in opposition because by challenging me Elsa made me think about every facet of my position.

I have not seen Elsa in quite awhile, but I know from friends she remained engaged and as useful as she could be right to the end. She will be missed by many of us. The things we leave behind are hopefully the best things we do. Elsa left us with her children, many students and a neighborhood and city that is better because she lived there.

From the Home of Tom, the Turkey, this is Poppa Jeff requiring you to have a good week. (Any week that begins with candy can not be bad.)




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