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DUR a DUI

Do you remember getting a Driving under the Influence?

One of the possibilities that confronted me for years was being charged with drunk driving. I'm an admitted alcoholic. I started drinking when I was about thirteen. At that time it was with the tacit permission of my elders. My journey began with the glass of 7up with a little wine at the holiday or the sip of beer at a picnic kind of initiation. My father was an alcoholic. I actually quit before he did, but his experience and the model all of the important men in my life gave me permission to drink.

I will always remember Robin Williams discussing his drug problem. He told the interviewer, "First it was fun. Then, it was fun with problems. Then it became just problems." Well said. It applies to any addiction.

It is a statistical fact, many if not most drug and alcohol addictions are an attempt by the addict to self-medicate for other problems. I quit to quit. I didn't like myself as a person enslaved to booz. If I could drink responsibly, which by the way, most people do, I'd still be drinking.

I enjoyed drinking but came to realize my enjoyment was more of a right of passage, bolstering my male adult image kind of fantasy. Cool guys drank. And what you drank defined you like, what kind of car you drove, where you lived or how you dressed. I was a suit and tie, Buick, guy with a taste for cocktails and scotch. How much more Playboy mansion could I get? Oh, I 'd have a beer or two. It was okay when we were on the boat, playing golf or at a picnic.

In my late teens and twenties, I worked at country clubs. When I waited tables I was in contact with some of the wealthiest people in our community. I took a job in industrial sales. along with the job came the company car, credit card and on the road. Who do you think my heroes were? I have to admit my drinking became a problem before I started working in sales, but it was really like pouring gas on the fire.

I quit drinking a couple of times. Some of my friends told me I shouldn't worry because I was a happy drunk. No problem. I was a high functioning alcoholic but that was because I could work through my hangovers and be successful. Looking back I realized how many people enabled me. They ignored the hangover performances, bought me one more for the road, and laughed at my drunken silliness. They weren't bad people, that was part of the culture back then.

The time when it became just problems was when I couldn't work through hangovers anymore, constant stomach problems, and memory loss. When I woke up in a motel room and I couldn't remember where I was or how I got there, I realize I'd rolled the dice once too often. I took a serious look at myself and realized, I didn't like me anymore. Somewhere, somehow there had to be a better more respectable version of me

So in 1982, I quit drinking alcohol for the last time. A friend of mine and I were sharing "I was so drunk" stories. I asked him or he asked me I don't remember which, "Did you ever get a DUI."
After trading stories of being stopped and talking our way out of the ticket or not being stopped when we probably should have, we both confessed. No, neither of us had ever gotten a driving under the influence ticket. More important than avoiding a ticket was we never injured or killed anyone. We both were and still are sober.

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