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Observations from The Backrow

There are two groups I belong to that actually have a name. If there ever is a group photo, I am courtesy of my height always in the back row. The Royal Order of Toads has the unfortunate acronym of ROT.  I'm told this occurred without an intention. Not planning anything is a trait of toads.  Follow us, if you dare.

The groups' creation myth is that three or four like-minded fellows were sitting at a bar in downtown Appleton, Wisconsin when one of their wives came in with her gal pals. She looked at their rearview profile and remarked that they looked like a bunch of toads sitting on a log. Now forgetting that frogs not toads would be more likely to be sitting on a swamp log. The men decided to form a loose organization that would be home to individual men who would not be welcome in the Rotary Club, Lions Club, The Chamber of Commerce...etc.

Giving the group a false air of dignity by calling it Royal, required titles. The founders snatched up the formal titles of President, President of Vice, Secretary, Treasurer, and Armed Sargent. More to the spirit of the gang were the ones that followed. The keeper of Pads and Reeds was a musician. I, having been certified as a paralegal, became Illegal Council. The most illustrative was an attorney who became Slimy Toad

The group grew into a rather formidable number of fifteen or so. We quibbled at times about membership. Did we have too many dentists, musicians, employed people v retired? All worrisome stuff for a fledgling band that had no purpose or direction.

Oh, we tried to be relevant. For a stretch of time, we had a food stand during Appleton's October Fest, which is, by the way, is held the last weekend in September. The irony was clear and perfect for the Toads. The profits for this venture went to buy Xmas gifts for children from families in need. Unfortunately, an internal dispute brought this activity to an end. Personally, I always thought the dispute was an offshoot of the activity itself which was way to club like for a real toad. I mean face it, the effort was so rotary club.

The group meets once a month now. We meet with our Plus Ones (Our wives refuse to be called toadettes) for dinner. The location is the choice of each member rotating in alphabetical order.

Membership is still available.
1. You must be placed for membership by a member in good standing. (This qualification is always debatable. For instance, since I've had ankle surgery I don't stand very well and there's a member who is the President of the Lion's Club. People have been drummed out for less.)
2. You must prove that you have one friend, who is not a relative.
3. After a vote of the membership, you must receive at least one vote in favor of having you as a member.

Next Week: How I became involved with The Expansion Band.

Saut! My readers, deleters and fellow toads.


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