The Movie Marriage Story
Why I shouldn't have watched it and why I'm glad I did
Maybe someone who has recently gone through his third divorce shouldn't see this powerful film about a couple navigating their split up and (spoiler) eventual divorce, but I did.
Charlie, Adam Driver, an avant-garde theater director, and his actress wife, Nicole played by Scarlet Johansson are going through a divorce. Her career is been shelved to support his career. Nicole was getting a lot of attention in Hollywood for her performance in a breakout film, when she met, fell in love with and became Charlie's muse. In the next few years, they worked together for his success. While Nicole got recognition for her contributions to the effort, it was not necessarily a gratifying career.
She gets an opportunity to do a pilot for a TV series. Nicole not only wants to do the pilot, which Charlie obviously thinks is beneath her talent, but she has to move to Los Angeles and is taking their son, Henry, played by Azhy Robertson with her.
Nicole is planning on staying in Los Angeles particularly if the series is bought by the network. Charlie is insistent that while he agrees that she can go to Los Angeles, they will eventually return to New York where their career is based. At this point in the film, when Charlie refers to their interests, it actually means his interests.
The rest of the film is how this couple's agreement to dissolve their marriage and remain, friends, falls apart as they hire lawyers, and bicker at a meeting with them and their lawyers. Finally, their frustration dissolves in a no holds barred screaming match. The solution is found when they both realize how the situation is affecting their son.
For me, the pain is developed because we are watching a couple that should be happy and united being pulled apart by their differing needs and inability to communicate or understand those needs. Nicole has been separated from everything that anchors her. She has friends, family, and career in Los Angeles. Charlie has played lip service to working in Los Angeles giving Nicole hope they could move the family and careers there. But Charlie is clearly more comfortable in New York.
In the beginning, we see that Nicole has seen the situation for what it is and is moving down the road to separation and divorce. Her love for Charlie is not been extinguished, but her determination to move on is strong. Chalie is living in denial. We get the impression that he is lost in his career and has taken Nicole for granted. It is only when his world has been shaken by her departure that he has to evaluate what he's been living and how his behavior is affecting those around him.
I'm in the process of healing. My recent divorce was not unexpected. My wife had told me she was unhappy for a couple of years. My acceptance of her decision to divorce me was, on the surface, without anger or denial. She wanted it and there was nothing I could do to change her mind. Beneath the surface was a realization that was hard to accept. The years of threatened separation and divorce did not make me fall out of love for my wife any more than it did for Charlie. Carlie and I lived with hope and renewed commitment.
As I said, this was my third divorce. What I had to face is that I had failed once again to live up to the expectations of three women, who I respect and will not saddle with accusation or disrespect. If there is blame on their part, it is for them to find, accept and deal with it. My evaluation is to look at my own failings and try to learn and live with them. Maybe, like Charlie, I can sublimate my ego enough to see clearly my failings and move forward, a better and happier person.
Why I shouldn't have watched it and why I'm glad I did
Maybe someone who has recently gone through his third divorce shouldn't see this powerful film about a couple navigating their split up and (spoiler) eventual divorce, but I did.
Charlie, Adam Driver, an avant-garde theater director, and his actress wife, Nicole played by Scarlet Johansson are going through a divorce. Her career is been shelved to support his career. Nicole was getting a lot of attention in Hollywood for her performance in a breakout film, when she met, fell in love with and became Charlie's muse. In the next few years, they worked together for his success. While Nicole got recognition for her contributions to the effort, it was not necessarily a gratifying career.
She gets an opportunity to do a pilot for a TV series. Nicole not only wants to do the pilot, which Charlie obviously thinks is beneath her talent, but she has to move to Los Angeles and is taking their son, Henry, played by Azhy Robertson with her.
Nicole is planning on staying in Los Angeles particularly if the series is bought by the network. Charlie is insistent that while he agrees that she can go to Los Angeles, they will eventually return to New York where their career is based. At this point in the film, when Charlie refers to their interests, it actually means his interests.
The rest of the film is how this couple's agreement to dissolve their marriage and remain, friends, falls apart as they hire lawyers, and bicker at a meeting with them and their lawyers. Finally, their frustration dissolves in a no holds barred screaming match. The solution is found when they both realize how the situation is affecting their son.
For me, the pain is developed because we are watching a couple that should be happy and united being pulled apart by their differing needs and inability to communicate or understand those needs. Nicole has been separated from everything that anchors her. She has friends, family, and career in Los Angeles. Charlie has played lip service to working in Los Angeles giving Nicole hope they could move the family and careers there. But Charlie is clearly more comfortable in New York.
In the beginning, we see that Nicole has seen the situation for what it is and is moving down the road to separation and divorce. Her love for Charlie is not been extinguished, but her determination to move on is strong. Chalie is living in denial. We get the impression that he is lost in his career and has taken Nicole for granted. It is only when his world has been shaken by her departure that he has to evaluate what he's been living and how his behavior is affecting those around him.
I'm in the process of healing. My recent divorce was not unexpected. My wife had told me she was unhappy for a couple of years. My acceptance of her decision to divorce me was, on the surface, without anger or denial. She wanted it and there was nothing I could do to change her mind. Beneath the surface was a realization that was hard to accept. The years of threatened separation and divorce did not make me fall out of love for my wife any more than it did for Charlie. Carlie and I lived with hope and renewed commitment.
As I said, this was my third divorce. What I had to face is that I had failed once again to live up to the expectations of three women, who I respect and will not saddle with accusation or disrespect. If there is blame on their part, it is for them to find, accept and deal with it. My evaluation is to look at my own failings and try to learn and live with them. Maybe, like Charlie, I can sublimate my ego enough to see clearly my failings and move forward, a better and happier person.
Comments
Post a Comment