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With Reference to the Possible Passing of Pamela Frautchi

When I wrote a few lines about the effect my Mother-in-laws passing had on me, Pamela, a friend in excellent standing, wrote to me that she wished I would write her eulogy. One catch, I was asked to write it while she was alive.
(Full disclosure: Pam offered to write mine in payment.)

Missing the Email Queen
I can quickly get into the proper state of mind for this task because I had lost my more frequent contact with Pam when Maria and I moved to Louisiana.

Pam is a couple of things to me that are probably obvious but compelling to mention in a piece like this. Her intelligence, charm, and energy are right out in front of her like a family coat-of-arms. Older people are frequently leaning on their age and purported wisdom to form opinions. Pam prefers to stay informed with new information.

As a community activist, she often resisted taking on more than a behind the throne activism as for her role. However, her work ethic and stubborn determinism betrayed her to the whims of those with the ability to spot talent and the lack of energy to do things themselves.

As a dancer, her admiration and support for the performing arts are legendary. We seldom went to play in Milwaukee, where she and Richard did not know some, if not all, of the participants. This passion invaded her conversation as well as her pocketbook. For the Performing Arts, Pam was John in the desert, preaching of the coming.

Someone once told me that if I knew Pam, I would have connections to everyone else I needed to know on the upper east side. She introduced me to politicians, cops, teachers, and neighbors. All of these people proved to be helpful in my journey through public service. Not only did Pam know these people, but she also had a shared experience with them and provided me a historical reference to my perspective of history on this side of town.

What I mostly would miss about Pam is knowing that if I was missing a public meeting, I should be at or that I was in the meeting, and things were slipping past me, If Pam was in attendance, I could expect her detailed notes in my email box the next day.

If Pam leaves our lives, it's for sure your email box will be noticeably empty. The YouTube videos, public notices, and the entertainment announcements will not be there. Her impressive finds from the outer edges of the internet and the repostings of her friend's musings have been part of her social interactions from before Facebook. Woe the day, our email suffers this loss, for we will have indeed lost the companionship of one of the great people in our lives.

Oh yes, Pamela is a mother. She's had multiple experiences as a wife. To these tasks, she spent at least as much energy as she did her beloved garden. And that is high praise. I will never have breakfast at The Orginal Pancake House on Downer Ave, without thinking of the great conversations we shared in that place. I will always remember her standing by my side when I was feeling alone and in need of a friend.

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