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Writing a wrong and no apologies neeeded

One thing I wanted to do this year is to use my skills as a writer to help perform public service. What is it they say? Be careful what you wish for. As previous posts have pointed out, I'm writing a column for UrbanMilwaukee.com.

I'm also writing a three-part series on How To Become A Bus Driver For MCTS, to be published on their online newsletter, Rider Insider.

I recently (literally moments ago) completed a long-promised obituary for a close friend. I promised to do it before she died. No rush as long as she didn't involve herself in an accident. The lady is as fit as pair skinny jeans.

Then there is always a manuscript of my fiction work at hand. I love writing fiction for a lot of reasons. The one I cite most often is the ability to kill someone and not have suffered the consequence of the act. But honestly, most writers would admit they write for themselves, and while all of us would love to be successfully read and enriched by the effort, we'll write regardless.

Making Pancakes in a Galley Kitchen

2 cups of Bisquick
2 eggs
1 cup of milk

Put all of the ingredients in a stainless steel mixing bowl.
Do not over mix. There should be globs in the mixed batter.
Served with butter and maple syrup.
Fruit optional

How hard could this be? Let me tell ya.

First off, the general rules of conduct in a kitchen slightly larger than a world-famous British Red phone booth.

1. Wipe dry the double-wide stainless steel sink. We need this for the accumulation of ingredients and prep tools.

2. Assemble dishware, cookware, ingredients, and utensils.

3. Open a new box of mix. Cut open the inner bag with scissors.

4. Measure Bisquick into the stainless steel mixing bowl, (Spill some of the Bisquick into the sink, to give the cooking area a foreshadowing of later problems)

5. Move the mixing bowl to the side table after putting the crockpot on the floor to make room.

6. Insert beaters into hand mixer and proceed to beat the batter into a semi-
smooth consistency. (Make sure to accidentally kick the crockpot at least once, so allow yourself to curse.)

7. You should turn off the mixer before removing it from the bowl, so it does not splatter batter all over the prep area.  (I thought I had turned off the beaters. I did not. While cleaning up, I took advantage of the situation and kicked the crockpot two more times.)

8. I know you think I'm making this up. I wish.

9. Spoon batter into a hot non-stick frypan

10. Put sausage links in the microwave for one minute on high.

11. Refill the coffee cup add sugar, and milk to taste. Microwave for 30 seconds to warm up.

12. Turn burning pancake in the pan.

13. Repeat griddling pancakes twice more without burning. (Total of three counting the one that's burned.)

14. Insert pad of butter between pancakes. (Spend a lot of time trying to get the butter pat off the knife and into the perceived center of the pancake. If it gets too frustrating, kick the crockpot.)

15. Try to pour a small amount of maple syrup, from a Costco sized bottle of syrup, on the stack of pancakes. Be happy when you don't get a small amount, but you can still carry the plate without the syrup sloshing over the sides.

16. Spoon on fruit if so desired.

17. Plate the sausage with the pancakes and take the plate to the table with a knife and fork. (You're probably going to forget the coffee in the microwave. You can always warm it up again.)

Clean up.
Rinse and then fill the mixing bowl with hot soapy water. Remove scissors, you used to cut open the Bisquik bag, from the mixture of Bisquick and maple syrup in the bottom of the sink. (As you stack dirty dishes, be sure to kick the crockpot one more time.)

Wash, rinse, dry, and put away all tools, cookware, dishes, and silverware.

Pick up the crockpot off the floor and put it back on the side table.

Reheat coffee. Sit and contemplate if the meal was worth the effort.

At this point, do not kick the crockpot. It's on the side table, and assuming you can get your leg up that high, you might just fall and won't be able to get up.


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